Friday, April 10, 2015

Shuffle surprising no-expectations mode: ON

Hidden by clouds the sun is setting down on the Baltic sea and Liepaja. Lonely seagulls flying. The perfect line of the horizon is broken by far away ships. A striped sky in pink and violet shades above me. Silver sand. Beer and cigarette. Paper and ink. The little green bike. It feels simply great. I haven’t even opened the beer yet that I feel already happily drunk.
I have my music but this time I leave it in the pocket. The symphony of these thousands waves sounds so much cooler.

Eastern is gone, it’s just a week we’re here but it feels definitely longer. A tricky spring seems to have fun making us wait. I don’t mind. Until the sun paints the sky as it’s doing now, I won’t mind. I feel blessed enough to forget about my frozen fingers.
Well, that’s supposed to be a blog. Ok, usually I do prefer images and pictures or videos to express myself and I’m really not good with sharing words and this kind of stuff but I’ll try. Tonight I don’t have any recording device with me but my eyes and my right hand. I’ll try to translate it into words and convert this into a .doc file. Hope it’s gonna be enough.
Sooo… I was often asked about my expectations here but once again I have to admit my limits and… hey folks, I don’t really like expectations and basically I came here naked and empty. So I’ll make a step out of them.
Shuffle surprising no-expectations mode: ON.

I didn’t expect to find such wildness here. All this magic and powerful beauty.
I didn’t expect such a starry bright sky. That’s the best I’ve ever seen.
I couldn’t expect to enjoy so much a cold rain during a bike ride.
I couldn’t expect to feel that happy to have my face beaten by a frozen wind. Ride against it and then even win it!
I couldn’t expect to feel at home since the beginning in a place so different from what I used to call “home”! Shit, I live in Sicily and even if I wasn’t born there, that’s the very first place I felt as “home”.  I do love any kind of “south”. So what’s the point in this? I’ve never been so North before.
I couldn’t expect that I will actually feel like living on the sea as I do now. And back in Italy I live on an island! My city is on the sea, but I can’t even see it! I definitely couldn’t expect to find myself preferring the Baltic to the Mediterranean. Never. But here I am.

I didn’t expect to feel so glad and light not to have a return ticket because I know that this experience will go further than joining Boltik Baik Project.
For the very first time I’m surrounded by people who cannot start the day without welcoming it jumping on their bike and bring it for a morning ride. Not to have a driving license is not anymore a problem as it is in my home country.

            It’s just the beginning and I know many things, thoughts and feelings will change but I’m definitely ready to accept them. For the last years of my life I used to invest time and energies in building up something that usually you can call “career”, but at least once a year I was breaking down and escaping from it but then returning back on my steps. So basically in the end I wasn’t building up anything and I wasn’t also travelling and experimenting as I wanted. Well done Giulia. But just few days here were enough to put everything in perspective, seriously, and open a huuuge window on other paths. Can you imagine how much brain-space you save if you don’t have to worry about stuff like: do not piss off your householder that wants your money; avoid the bills that are lying covered by dust on the shelf; fill the empty crying fridge; frustrate yourself waking up every morning working for someone else’s idea that you actually dislike. Honestly, it feels so amazing to have the chance to reinvent yourself, giving space to your deepest dreams, inspiration and creativity beyond any kind of certainties. Just crash them into thousand little broken pieces and let the Baltic wind blow them away. Forget them. Some Castaneda’s words came back into my mind now… “Erase your past”, forget what you were and used to be… you’re a new born child. Do not worry. Do not fear. Do not let your soul be stuck in time and space. I just wanna ride my bike as if I were a seagull. No borders, just the horizon leading me.
Ok, I fell into romanticism. I know. Forgive me. Blame the sunset. Sky now is burning and that pink and violet is turning into fluo-psychedelic shades. The seascape looks absolutely wonderful and hypnotizing. It’s just a moment and… the first star appears. It’s getting dark, the beer is finished. Hunger calls. Fire needs to be lighted.

Ah! One last thing. The most important and probably the most trivial and banal but true as hell: thanks to Stas, Agata, Linda, Anna, Asnate and whoever else made this moment possible for me.


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